ready or not 2014...here we come

I can't believe another year has come and gone. Some points it seemed to fly by and others have seemed like it would never end! So much has happened this year and as hard as it has been I've also learned so much and have become stronger than I ever thought I could be. it always sounds so cliché to say "this year has been such a roller coaster" but I don't know how else to put it. I don't want this post to be a downer because this year there has also been so many things I'm grateful for and blessed:

• My husband and I went through a nine month deployment and he made it home safe! It taught us so much and I truly believe it brought us closer as a couple. So happy to have him home by my side! Also during those nine months I moved home from Germany to stay with my family, and I never would've looked at it as such a blessing as I do now! Being there for all of my parent's 'lasts' without knowing it </3
• My mom and brother got to come out to Germany and we traveled around Germany and Austria! We took my mom to see castles and Austria for the sound of music, always had been one of her life long dreams. Again, such a blessing it is now knowing she accomplished one of her dreams before she left this earth. I'm so glad I have those memories to look back on now and seeing how happy she was! (also, when they were here we joked that my dad was probably going to go out and buy something...well, that is when he bought the Harley and I still remember it like yesterday him skyping us telling us he bought it and how excited he was! He had always wanted one!)
• Justin and I got to go on a Mediterranean cruise. It was our first cruise and it was so much fun. We got to see Italy, Turkey, Greece and Croatia. So happy we got to travel around while we lived in Germany!
• Losing my mom and dad has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through and probably ever will! I miss them more and more everyday! I was always so afraid of losing someone close to me and never imagined what it would be like without them. Losing them both at the same time? I still feel like I'm living in a nightmare. But I have felt them with me every day! It has been so hard without them but it is such a comfort knowing they are together <3 I can't wait until I see them again and so blessed to know that families are forever!
• We gained guardianship of my little brother Corban. Again, something SO unexpected. But he has been such a blessing in Justin and I's lives! He has always my family's pride and joy ever since we adopted him. I can't imagine life without this little man. He keeps us going and has taught us so much! It's been a challenge to play the parent roll and still have a sibling relationship also, but I know that my parents have been helping me! <3
• We had to leave Germany earlier than expected, sell the house I grew up in and move to a new place but we have been blessed to become home owners to our gorgeous home in Colorado Springs!
• We have had to go through birthdays and holidays without my mom and dad and it has been so hard on us all! But we have been beyond blessed with a "second" family (and my brother's soon to be in-laws)! They have been there for us from day one, moved us, been shoulders to cry on, laughed with us, have taken us in as their own, and let us spend Christmas with them. I am and will always be beyond grateful for this family and will never be able to repay them for how much they have done for us! We love you forever, for always near and far!
• My little (big) brother, Logan, just got engaged and I couldn't be more happy for him and Jordan! I'm so excited to see them start their lives together and gain a sister to the family! I'm so proud of my brother and the man he has become! He reminds me so much of my daddy each and every day!

As tomorrow is the first day of a new year, it's like opening a blank 365 page book. This year I want to make sure I let the people I love know how much they mean to me and cherish them, and be the best sister, friend, wife and mother role I can be! I want to be a healthier me and get to my goal. I want to start school and find out "what I want to be when I grow up". I want to hopefully start our own little family! <3 And most importantly I want to live bigger, bolder and better in my mommy and daddy's honor!

 

 

 

 

 

twelve. ten. ten.

I know this sounds so cliché, we have had our ups and downs this past year, but it seriously has been such a roller coaster for us. We went from making it through a long 9 month deployment, to traveling Europe with my mom and brother and going on our first cruise, to the worst news about mommy and daddy, to now buying our first home together and trying to start our 'normal' lives.

I got married when I was 18 years old. I still remember the day Justin asked me, (when I was still 17, ha!) my mom and dad came down into my room, sat on the edge of my bed and asked me if I was sure this is what I wanted. It's not that they didn't like Justin or support us, they just wanted the best for their 'little girl', for us. I remember it took a couple weeks for them to come around to it and then ever since, they were the most support we have ever had. They wrote Justin every chance they could while he was in basic training, telling him how proud they were of him. They helped me plan the wedding, with the little time we had. While we were in Germany they would send us a package almost every week, just because they missed us, and they never let us forget that. When we ran into financial problems, they were right there to help out any way they could, even being across the world.

Even though this has been the hardest year of my life, I am so glad I have had my amazing husband by my side, and I know my parents are too. I know my parents were never planning on me getting married so young. I look at how everything has played out and it just gives me the goose bumps. We got married, moved to Germany away from family and on our own. Justin was gone a lot of the time training and then we get stuck with a nine month deployment. As hard as it was sometimes, I truly believe we moved away on our own to strengthen our marriage for the hardships in our lives to come, to learn to rely on each other, maybe more than normal.

There are many reasons I'm glad we got married when we did, but a big one is the relationship Justin grew to have with my mom and dad. They loved him like their own, in fact, the day we got married my dad wrote Justin a letter to give to him the day he left for Germany and it said "I don't think I like the name son-in-law very well. I think that on December 10th I just added a new son to the family." They were always so proud of everything he did and were constantly asking about what he does and wanting to know more. I always admired my mom and dad's marriage and always wanted to find someone as hard working, and loving as my daddy. I'm so glad I found him, and at the time that I did, because not only do I need that now, Corban does too.

I'm not going to be annoying and say Justin is the "best husband ever", but he is the best husband for ME. I am so glad I have him right by my side in this crazy thing we call life. He amazes me everyday! He is such a hard worker, and is always trying his best in all that he does. He has accomplished so much, especially in these past three years and I couldn't be anymore proud of him than I am! He is constantly putting others before himself and has such a big heart. He has been right by mine and my brother's sides through these last few months. Right after everything happened the first thing he said was " we need to get home to the boys!" And he did just that, and took them in like they were his own. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to be by my side to help me raise Corban now.

Happy third anniversary to my amazing husband, and we have many more to come! This is just the beginning to our crazy beautiful life and I'm glad I have him by my side <3

Happy anniversary honey! Thank you for always being there for me whether I need a shoulder to cry on (which I need a lot of lately) or just being there to listen. I am so proud of you! You make me want to be a better person each and every day and I thank you for that. Thank you for being so amazing with Corb and Log, and not only being a brother-in-law now, but being such an awesome father figure to Corban. He loves you and looks up to you so much (sometimes it scares me)! I'm so glad I found you and so blessed to have you in my life! I couldn't have asked for a better guy to be by my side, especially this year. You are my best friend! I love you forever, for always, no matter what! Here's to three years, and many more to come! muah!