my B-E-A-Utiful momma

I'm not going to lie, ever since I was little, Mother's Day and Father's Day has always been two of my favorite 'holidays'. I'm pretty sure it all started with the little flowers/plants you got to plant for mom in a plastic cup in school or church. Or maybe the little 'coupon' books you got to make dad. I know you all know exactly what I'm talking about and have made them before! "one free ticket for a back rub" or "two tickets to wash the car". They were always so happy to get them even though they knew it would be the same thing every year.
As I got older, it wasn't about the flowers I planted or the coupon books I made. It was all about simply celebrating and thanking THEM. You grow to realize just how much they do for you and I always thought it was silly they only get ONE day of the year to be "recognized". But, you get to make that one day extra special.
Today isn't like any other Mother's Day. It's such a bittersweet one. I have always said that I hope one day I can be half the mother my mom is someday. Now here I am trying to fill her shoes in a way I never even thought of. But I know she has been with me every step of the way, to be the best "mom" I can be for her little Corban James.
Today I get to celebrate the most important woman who was in my life, my mommy.

• My mom was my best friend. She was the one who was always there for me no matter what, and our relationship and bond was inseparable. Ever since I can remember, she ALWAYS played this song for me and told me it was "our song". I can't listen to this song without tears streaming down my face now...I miss you mommy.

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

 

• She was the most selfless person I knew, and had the biggest heart! She would always put others first, no matter what. Would give the shirt off of her back to anyone.
• ALWAYS had a smile on her face no matter what situation she was in! And anyone who knew my mom, knows that her smile could make anyone smile.
• Along with her pretty smile, she was constantly laughing (and that my friends, is where I get it from!) that laugh of hers was the type that would fill the room! She was always trying to make others laugh.
• She was so creative with anything and everything she did! It could be the smallest of things but it would end up taking her ten times longer because she had to think of how to make it 'more creative' and put her extra touch on it.
• So positive and always looking for the good in everything and everyone!
• The hardest working lady I knew! She was the type who loved to work, always had to be doing something! My dad would always have to tell her to take a break, or take time off.
• She put family first. Her family was her everything and she NEVER let us forget that! From leaving us little notes around the house (daddy always did that too before he left for work), to giving us a hug and kiss every time we left the house, even if we would only be gone for a few minutes.
• The most beautiful woman! Ever since I was little I would go and sit in the bathroom with her while my mom got ready and just stare at her. Or when she was sleeping, I would just sit and look at her and think how pretty she was and hope that someday I would look just like her! (I know, sounds creepy actually saying that, ha! but it's the truth!)
• She was also a foster mom and an adoptive mom! She loved all of our foster kids we had just like her own, and still to that day would talk about them wondering what they were up to and how she missed them.

I could go on and on about my mom. She was such an incredible lady, and even more incredible MOM! I wish more than ANYTHING that I could wrap my arms around her and give her a big hug and kiss and tell her how much I love her. To be able to see that smile of hers and hear that laugh. I miss her and daddy more than anything but I know they are hand in hand! Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful mommy and I'm so thankful I had such a strong and beautiful role model and example in my life. I love you more Momma J!

 

 

 





Not many people know we have been struggling with infertility. It's not something I like to talk about, because it hasn't been easy, but I will never forget last Mother's Day, my mom sent me a sweet message telling me "Happy Mother's Day". I told her she sent that to the wrong person and she went on to tell me I am still a "mother" because I WANT to be, because we have been trying so hard. That right there, has been keeping me going, giving me more hope than anything and will keep that in my heart forever. The day I have someone calling me mom, will be such a miracle.